My cold day in the sun.

Greetings all - it's my day off, so I thought I'd best write something.

I've been doing a bit of thinking, and besides causing myself a bit of a headache, I realised; if there was one thing I wish I had more of, one thing in the entire world - it would be time. I wish I had more time to go and do the all the things I'd love to do. Right now, I'd love the chance to spend an entire day drinking, and have another week to sleep it off. I'd love to have the time to go and see my girlfriend and my other friends back up at uni. More than that, I'd love to be able to spend the entire day in bed and not feel guilty for wasting one of my precious days off.

I once watched a Matchbox Twenty gig, and at the end of the show, Rob Thomas said something to the crowd that's stayed with me ever since I saw it on the DVD...um. Yeah. He said 'The only currency that really matters in this world is your time and how you spend it', and I guess the point is, as you long as you spend your time in the most enjoyable way possible, or the most productive way possible, you won't look back at the end of it all and regret wasting time. I have certain friends who haven't really done anything with their lives since leaving school, despite being capable of so much more - I don' want to be the guy who still lives with my parents at 25, the guy who spends his life playing war fantasy games when really, that's the time you should really be making that change in your life to make the most out of yourself.

That said - I don't think it's ever too late to reinvent yourself, to become the person you want to be. I know some pretty amazing people who had no idea what they wanted to be two years ago, and the transformation is incredible. Maybe it's just because I'm at that age where the pack really starts to spread - some people get on with it, they have their success and, ultimately, closure; and those people who kinda get left behind a little - but it pains me to see people who haven't achieved anything, when you know, and they know, they are capable of so much more.

I don't know, I'm not in a position to judge here. All I believe is that when your time comes, you need to try your best to be in a position to say 'I'm ready to go'. No-one's got official confirmation of the meaning of life, so we're all just guessing here - but I would hate to look back on it all and wonder what could have been. The problem is - I know I'm going to, because I'm not a proactive kinda guy, I don't like making those big decisions that define a life, because I hate the idea of having no way back. But you can't spend your entire life swimming in the shallow end, because if you do, you'll end up with a massive sense of unfulfilment, and you see it everyday.

I'd just hate to be one of those guys, I want to be proud of what I've done with my life. I'm not there yet, not by a long shot - but I'm pretty determined to give it a go.

I'm not writing this to tell everyone what they should be doing with their lives - you might like World of Warcraft, and that's fine - I'm writing it to make a point, to provoke thought about how it's really going. Distractions and dreams are great things - but when you let them take over, that's when I think they hold you back. I guess it's about striking a balance.