It's been a while since I posted anything, which is mainly due to my all-consuming job, and my partiality to being lazy. Mostly the latter, if I'm completely honest.
What's pushed me to climbing up on my soapbox once more? Those bloody celebrities, that's what. But then I thought about it; all of these celebrities, all of their demands, their excesses, the things that set them apart. Is this what they do, or is it just tabloid generated hyperbole?
The correct answer is B. I didn't spend that long wondering.
Hyperbole sells papers, obviously. A scoop story on how Noel Gallagher destroyed a pub, when he actually just knocked over someone's pint by accident, will always be more exciting to read than the truth. But it's getting ridiculous now, people are starting to believe the hype. I saw a programme on BBC3 recently, running down the 100 Most Annoying People of 2007. Britney, Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty and all these other people who get a bit too much media attention for everyone's liking. Sven-Goran Eriksson made it on there for making a joke to the News of the World that none of the mansions in Chesire have a big enough wardrobe for his suit collection. Number 34, for that! Commenting on each and every one of these 'annoyances', were a collection of tabloid journalists, lower-league 'comedians', and the occasional 'reality TV star'. Or, in other words, the people who wrote the stories, and the people who weren't famous enough to get into them.
As I was watching it, the veneer of disbelief over the stars's diva-esque antics was quite clearly covering their jealousy. Let's face it, if you were Cristiano Ronaldo, you would buy a Bentley Continental and a Lamborghini, you would sleep with every stunning soap star you could find - he's 22, and he's on top of the world. Pete Doherty will go out and score heroin to share with his supermodel girlfriend - after all, he can't buy her a kebab like the rest of us. Amy Winehouse will probably take drugs to help cope with the pressure, and despite all of the tabloids 'pleading' with her to slow down, if they've got a bit of juicy goss to dirty her name further, they won't hesitate to publish it, thus creating a vicious circle. Yes, Amy Winehouse isn't helping herself in any way, shape or form by being caught on camera with a crack pipe, but how's about a bit of empathy. Unimpeded media attention with mellow aurora created by substance abuse, or unimpeded media attention coupled with cold turkey?
And then we come to Britney. I'm not a fan of her music, she's not a great role model and she's certainly seen better days - but I feel sorry for her. She doesn't have a normal life, she doesn't know what normal life is. She has been manipulated and pulled apart by her family, her employers, her ex-husband, her fans, her agents, the press. She's lost the plot, completely. It's absolutely right that her kids are not under her care, because, at present, she's not fit to look after them. But the more the papparazzi keep spying on her, and the more she gets knifed in the back, the more likely it is that she'll think it's all too much, and that would be another star gone. Probably the biggest since Elvis. And it would be a massive shame for her, because, unlike Elvis, her musical talent doesn't guarantee her an iconic legacy. She's only 25.
She must be jealous of Aguilera now.
